Evaluating Intercultural Behaviour

A few days ago, my friend James, a Chinese, and I decided to eat supper out. We met at this popular Indian-Muslim restaurant called Al-ameen along upper Bukit Timah road. Upon arriving, we were greeted by a young Indian waiter. The conversation below highlights the intercultural conflict that ensued.

Waiter: Hi, what drinks would you like?

James: Coke please? (The waiter shakes his head)

James: Tea then? (The waiter shakes his head again)

James: Coffee? (The waiter shakes his head)

At this point, James begins to get a bit flustered. The restaurant does not seem to have any drinks he asked for.

James: Green tea then? (The waiter shakes his head again).

James (in an angry tone): Then what drinks do you have? You don’t seem to have anything!

At this point, I cut in. I told James that the waiter shaking his head meant that he did have the drink. He was surprised for a moment then apologized for his angry tone. He quietly ordered a coke thereafter.

Shaking one’s head to most Singaporeans would mean “no”. But to some Indians in Singapore, shaking one’s head would be an acknowledgement of something or to mean “yes”. Frankly speaking, I myself was stunned when the abovementioned conversation began. It was only midway when it dawned on me that the waiter actually meant “yes we have it”. Although Singapore is a multi-cultural country, we still have a long way to go in terms of being able to understand each other’s culture.  

To me, culture refers to all knowledge and values shared by a group. More specifically, it is the shared system of symbols, beliefs, attitudes, values, expectations and norms for behaviour. Subcultures are distinct groups that exist under a major culture. Singapore is itself such a complex and diverse society. Most Singaporeans are the children or grandchildren of immigrants from many parts of Asia. Many of us retain most if not some of our original cultural traditions. As Singapore is such a multi-cultural society, we could say that we have many subcultures. With more subcultures however, the harder the communication becomes. We have more differences to consider when trying to communicate effectively with each other.

By understanding the fundamentals of intercultural communication, the conflict illustrated above may have been avoided. Firstly, being able to empathise with the person is vital. By showing empathy, we are able to imagine the other person's perspective and act in a supportive manner. Another important component of intercultural communication is the ability to respect the other person. Finally, recognising one’s own cultural bias and increasing one’s cultural sensitivity are important as well.