Tuesday, 4 September 2012

Resolving Interpersonal Conflict


We are all bound to come across interpersonal conflicts at one point or another in our lives. One particular area in which this is bound to happen is when we get together in project groups to handle an assignment. Project groups are the best way to tackle an assignment to complete them as efficiently as possible. Yet at the same time, they can also be the worst way if interpersonal conflicts arise along the way and are not handled well. Let me give you a real life example of what happened in one of my Biology project groups last semester.

Two girls named Cheryl and Jennifer were in one of my Biology project groups. As it was nearing the end of the deadline for our project, we decided to meet up to assign each group member a particular subtopic to be handled. On the day however, Cheryl wasn’t able to make it for the meeting. Me and Jennifer still continued with the meeting as per normal. We decided what subtopic we would each handle and decided to assign one to Cheryl. Jennifer volunteered to inform Cheryl on the subtopic she had been assigned. We decided to meet up a day before the deadline to consolidate all our information together.

The day before the deadline, we met up at the Science canteen. To my horror, while consolidating the information, I realized that Cheryl and Jennifer had both done research on the same subtopic! When I questioned them, I realized that Jennifer had misinformed Cheryl on the part she would be doing. Jennifer began defending herself saying that it was Cheryl’s own fault for not turning up for the earlier meeting. At the same time, Cheryl began to defend herself by saying that Jennifer was the one at fault for misinforming her. Both girls began arguing and saying it was the other person’s fault. None of them refused to back down and get the final subtopic done. In the end, I had to attempt to complete it myself. But given the fact that the deadline was the next day, we didn’t do well for that project.

On hindsight, I realized that I as a third party should have stepped in while they were arguing to try to get them to work together. Perhaps, I could have advised them to put their emotions aside to get the work done. Also I could have explained to each of them that they should try to see things from each other’s perspective. As the middle man (quite literally!), I should have tried to empathize with both parties and listened to them more. Instead, I was busy being too frustrated and stressed out that the deadline was the very next day!

We have learned in our ES2007 class that Emotional Intelligence (EI) encompasses self-awareness, self-regulation, motivation, empathy and good social skills. How would you guys have applied these in managing the above-mentioned interpersonal conflict?

2 comments:

  1. Hi Arvind!
    I am sorry to learn about the misunderstanding that developed in your group. One thing I feel is very important for any team is to be in contact with other teammates irrespective of whether our part depends on them or not(i.e. standalone ). If you had contacted each other and discussed even casual questions like “how much research have you done till now?” could have led to the discussion about the topic at some point or other.
    Given that you came to know about the problem just before the deadline, I think you should have divided the 3rd topic into 3 parts and each one of you could have done a part of the topic. This would have certainly made your project look better than you yourself trying to work alone on the topic.
    Again, the ability to manage emotions and work under stress are qualities that I think should be developed by everyone and these will improve the success rate for us given any situation. In your case I think it would have helped you get the maximum work done from limited time that you had.
    I think some of these steps mentioned above could have helped you to overcome the problem in a better manner. All the best for your future Projects !!!

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  2. Hi Arvind,
    I think if there is any dispute in a project work. We should always ignore who is at fault first and get everyone to look at the current status of the project and how far it is away from the final goal.

    In case, it is a pity you have to finish the last part by yourself. But I think looking at things at each other perspective does not help in fact it will create more conflict. For eg if Cheryl put herself in Jennifer's shoe, she will definitely think that she will not misinform herself. Focus on the goal more.

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